This topic happened upon me while driving in my car listening to "Cupid's Chokehold" by the Gym Class Heros; yes it is random, but hang in there with me. It was the lyric in the song that said "she's even got her very own ringtone", and it made me laugh. It made me remember how in middle school and yeah, even high school; it was imperative that if you were in a relationship you had to have a ringtone for each other. Your boyfriend was a jerk if he didn't have one special for you.
Love is a term that grows with us as we age
Love is a term that grows with us as we age and its definition changes as well. I think we all figure that out and by a certain point we know what love is to us and how it changes us. What we don't normally think about is the ways in which we define it. Not in words but in actions. The difference between that when we are younger and now when we are adults is astonishing.
When we are teenagers your significant other had to do certain things to prove they " loved" you. It starts from such a young age too. When you’re in the earlier grades in school it is all about actually hanging out with each other at recess or sitting next to each other at lunch but then all of a sudden you hit middle school and it changes. Now it is well you have to hold hands every single second you’re together, or he must walk you to your locker and then to class and subsequently be late to every single one of his classes.
I think what has made it worse is social media. Now, a relationship isn’t official unless it is posted on Facebook for everyone in your list of friends to see. Like if it isn’t on Facebook, then it couldn’t possibly be true. That is truly irritating, that we must rely on a website to dictate how authentic a relationship is. Then of course, if you’re in a relationship you must write on each others walls all the time professing your love to each other. Another good one thanks to social media is the constant phone calls. You had to have one before school, one after school, and one at bedtime and that is just the bare minimum. Then of course you spend hours and hours on the phone talking about absolutely nothing, or not talking at all...come on now, admit it, you are guilty of it right?
Or my favorite is when in middle school or high school even, two people would start dating and three days later start saying “I love you”. Or the fact that we felt the need to say it every single time we said goodbye.
I suppose what I’m getting at is, when we are younger we have no idea about how to properly express love. We are under the impression that it must be said as many times as possible, as if your boyfriend/girlfriend was going to forget in the hour long class that separates you.
It is one of those moments I can say I’m grateful I’m an adult now. I’ve been in “love” and I’ve been in real love. I know the difference and when you find someone you truly have fallen in love with there is no need to constantly express it. If you know they love you back then it is unspoken. You can just look at each other and know, there is no reason to flaunt it to the world, since honestly, it is none of their business.
Love is probably one of the scariest things in the world to deal with, and yes as cliche as that sounds, I speak the truth. You go into a relationship not expecting anything and as time goes on it changes. You feel this weight in your chest and it makes you speechless, because you realize that your heart is opening up to this other person. Which then in fact makes you the most vulnerable you’ve ever felt, and you are hit with this intense fear of the idea that they may not love you back or as much as you love them.
Once you take that leap though, I can’t say it isn’t worth it. We are young for a reason, to let ourselves go through our stupid phase and get out what we think we know. Growing up is just us redefining what we think.
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