New Years

Happy New Years everyone! I hope you spent it with good people and you had fun. There has always been something that bothers me about New Years. I think it is the empty promises we make to ourselves and the fact that we never take the time in other parts of our years to re-evaluate.

I do however, have a couple thing I want to work on. I'm not calling them resolutions but goals. I want to strive to achieve them and I want to have to work hard to make it happen.

1. My health- this isn't so much the lose weight goal as it is taking care of myself. I need to be more active and that will help with my fibro. I need to eat better which will also help. Finally, with that I want to try and get off one of the meds I've been taking for a while. I don't want to be on it anymore and I did without it once, I can do it again.

2. Staying honest with myself- this is probably the most important. I feel like through this last year I lost myself a little bit and I loosened up my beliefs more than I should have. There are things I tried to be okay with or tolerate that I simply could not. I need to stand firm in what I believe and make sure I don't change that for any reason unless I feel the need to.

3. Forgiving myself - I have and probably always will be too hard on myself. I set high standards and sometimes I don't meet them. Something I have struggled with is being a normal person. Normal in the sense of in my early 20s. I've struggled with that because I'm not average. I don't like certain things that are deemed appropriate for my age. Example, those who drink every weekend, those who enjoy hooking up with people. I don't do that. It isn't a knock to those who do, but that isn't me. I am very uncomfortable with those things and when my judgement slips it is hard to forgive myself. It is hard for me to realize mistakes are bound to happen. I just need to move on and grow from them, and not do them again.

4. Yoga, yoga, yoga - Plain and simple :)

A New Year

     So it is another year and I want to continue my blogging. I'm trying out different blog sites right now, so that's why there has been so much switching going on. Just bare with me, I think I'm actually going to like this one though. 

     I know I'm a little late to the party on this one, but I have been thinking about what I want to do for the new year, in terms of personal goals. I have a few that I can think of and I want to share them so I can feel like it is official and I will more likely hold myself to them. My first goal is to blog/write more. Whether it is private writing I do on paper, blogging here, or blogging on Awkward Politics (my other blog). I really love using words and just forming ideas and seeing where they take me; and I know I could be a lot more consistent with it. 

     Another goal, is just to simply stay on top of my school work. I'm so close to being done at this point and I just want to do the best that I can. I have 4 classes this semester and then possibly a class or two over the Summer, and finally the Fall semester. I think in total I only have 8 classes left for the Summer and Fall. 

     Next up, I want to eat better and get into yoga officially. There are a few roadblocks that may come up with this one, but I am determined. As far as eating goes, that is just pure willpower at this point. I need to make the effort to pick things I want to eat that are good for me. I especially want to try and get away from packaged foods, and stay more along the lines of fresh food. Now does that mean if I want pasta and sauce I can't do it? No. I'll buy a jar of sauce, I'm not going to kill myself making it from scratch, unless I want to try it who knows! I just know there are a lot of things I don't need to be eating. The yoga thing may just come down to money, I've always been better in a class than on my own. I like being in a studio with a teacher and other people. I feel awkward doing yoga in my bedroom alone, but if that is what it takes, I'll do it. I just need to get my shoulder in order first!

     Though physically, I have enough issues to deal with: fibromyalgia, my recent shoulder surgery, and the fact that I get sick all the time; I really want to focus on getting mentally healthy. I've dealt with depression and anxiety for a lot of years now, and I pretty much have that under control. I would love to be able to get off the meds though. Not only that, I want to be more positive. I've had more rough patches than some can imagine in my life, but I want to be able to feel more positive about my life and what I go through. I feel like it'll help so many aspects of who I am. I actually believe I've really done some good work in getting this way too. I've been dealing with a big demon from my childhood, and it has affected some of my relationships with people. But I'm getting through and every day it hurts a little less. 

     So that is it for now, they are four pretty big goals for the year so I better get started!