Just a glimpse...

Into my homework hell :)

strained eyeballs

I honestly couldn't think of a great title to this post, so bear with me. I just had an appointment with the eye doctor and I had to get my eyes dilated...no fun.

So this past week has been a whirlwind of things to do, that is mostly because I actually worked full time last week. I was filling in for the nurse at the summer camp so that meant giving up my half days! I was happy to help out and the extra money will be nice, but my classes took a hit. I did not do well on my exams at all this past Friday. There was simply not enough time to do two classes worth of work and studying and work full time, and try to take some time off for myself. I give an insane amount of credit to any of my classmates who work full time and do school. I'm sure some of them even have kids on top of it!

The crunch in time always takes a toll on me, because I get stressed out and then somehow I end up not feeling well. I hope this week to get back on track and really take the time to learn the material...my degree sort of depends on it!

Speaking of degrees...I'm still up in the air about graduate school, but the full-time job search is not very successful at all. I'm at a standstill right now and those student loans are staring me right in the eye at this point.


Well this was just a small update and hopefully I'll be able to post soon! Back to work for me!

Drowning....

in homework! I have been non-stop all day today working on my two classes. I literally thought my computer was going to explode...and it may very well still do that. I could roast a marshmallow over the back of it!

It makes me sad, because I should be enjoying my Summer. Then again I should have technically graduated in May. But alas, not until December, which is why I'm stuck in Summer classes.

(SadFace)

Beginning of Summer Update

Well the beginning of my summer also marks the beginning of some new things happening. Sadly, it includes me working and still taking classes. Yes, that is right, I am already in week number 3 of summer classes. I have 3 more weeks of Empirical Political Inquiry and Writing for the Professions, and then I start another two classes for another six weeks. Yikes.

I'll also be working a new job schedule, but it won't be all summer, which means I am on the hunt for a second job :( In some ways it is good because I need the money, but it makes less time to get all the things I need to do done.

I am also in week two of my internship (officially). If you want go check out Citelighter.com! I've done five knowledge cards already! Martinique, Gaza Strip, Djibouti, Saudi Arabia, and Sulfates (yes I know the last one is random). It is awesome to see my work go live on a website. I have my new topics for this week already picked out so we'll see how that goes. I have been thinking about a lot of ideas for the company and the website, I'm thinking about maybe making time to go to the office in NYC to meet everyone and talk to my boss about what I'm thinking. It would be awesome to do.

Let me see...what else? Well on the health front my whole family is pretty much cruddy :/ Both my parents have been fighting off some bug. My dad has to get a root canal. I just found out I have an ulcer in my mouth which has been causing the pain. Oh and I pinched a nerve in my shoulder stretching...once again I prove I am a danger to myself haha

I need to wake up for work in like 7 hours so I will end this post with a puppy picture!

Charlie looks so happy in this picture! He turned 9 months old yesterday :)

Happiness: Where has it gone?

     I just started reading a book called "The Happiness Project", by Gretchen Rubin. I have to say I really like what I've read so far. Here is the synopsis on the back cover, since I think it gives a better description than I can:

"Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. 'The days are long, but the years are short', she realized. 'Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter.'In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project. 


In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference."

     So as I sit here eating a bowl of Cheerios, no milk, I can't help but wonder about my own happiness. If I look at my life as a whole, I'd probably say I was content. Looking at different aspects of my life though, I would say differently.

     My family, my boyfriend, and my dog? I'm extremely happy, I couldn't start to think about my life without them. Work, school, how I feel most days? Not so great. I do like my job, but it is part-time and it isn't what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. The job search is more difficult than ever right now, and for a student almost ready to graduate with very little experience...well you get the picture.  School? I'm at a crossroads right now about whether or not to get my graduate, and I am not even sure what I'd go for yet. Plus, I technically should have been graduating this May but alas it won't happen until December.

     As far as how I feel? Honestly, I feel like crap. I've been physically drained and emotionally drained. I am always tired because I'm constantly running from thing to thing. I'm always in pain because of my Fibromyalgia plus my shoulder hasn't been getting better as fast as I'd hoped. I don't complain to much about it, maybe a comment here or there, but I know that complaining does nothing good for me.

     So maybe Gretchen Rubin is on to something. Maybe we should all take the time to examine our happiness and make a plan to fix what we are unhappy with. As I am starting to learn from her book, most problems come from within. We can't change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and that may be a project I have to take on.

Surprise! I'm baaack...

Well, well, well, we meet again old friend. Okay so yes, I've taken a long break from this but I'm back and ready to roll. There have been a bunch of things happening so I will do a recap.

First of all, I'd like to mention that I'm dying for the umpteenth time this year. I tried a new foundation on Monday and I instantly broke out in hives and redness. It is Wednesday night and I'm still broken out and itchy as itchy could be. I honestly would rather be in pain right now, than itchy, the problem is that it is everywhere. Ears, face, neck, legs, back, eyes and yeah you get the picture.

Other than dying a slow and itchy death, I've been hard at work trying to get this semester done and over with. There is 10 more days and I will have a month off before Summer classes...boo. However, that means I only have 8 classes left in my degree!

In other school related news, I found my ultimate dream masters program. It also happens to be at my dream school: NYU. The program is a joint MA in International Politics and Journalism...um can you say AMAZING?!? I would absolutely die if I could get into that program. However, I'm still a ways away from that :(

I had my 2nd interview on the 3rd with Public Allies! It went really well, I was happy with it even if it was a 3 hour group interview. Major downside? I have to wait until the end of May to hear anything...

Work is work and now that it is nicer out it seems as though it is getting a little more crazy. I think end of the school year fever is starting to affect the children. But there really is no blaming them, we all are starting to feel that way.

Things haven't been going amazing lately, we've been getting some not so good news on the health front as far as my family goes. My dad is having major issues with his back, and my mom needs surgery again eventually. My shoulder is still not where it should be either which is pretty disappointing. My family goes through hell, but we manage to keep together either way, and I'm thankful for that.

I have had a lot on my mind lately, and I feel like I need to come back and write again. Even if it has nothing to do with what is going on, writing is therapeutic. It helps me forget things and it helps me focus too. Sometimes, all you want to do is talk to that one person but it is just a whole lot easier to talk to a blank page or screen. It isn't as intimidating, at least for me. It is a fresh start in a world where that rarely ever happens...

Update

So I know I've been MIA lately but the last week of my classes was kicking my butt. I start two new ones on Monday but I'm excited for them because they are my 1st official political science classes. I'm taking political ideologies and American national government.

I hate not having anything to do so I'm glad I don't have a break off. Besides I'm so close to being done! Four classes in the summer and four in the fall and hello diploma!

My mom just had surgery on Friday. She's in a ton of pain because she kinda had a not so great outcome. She tore her bicep tendon and they didn't know until they went in. She ended up with a ton of stitches and staples. She pretty miserable but she starts therapy next week so hopefully she will recover soon!

Other than that not much is going on. I had the week off from work and rehearsals but thankfully I'll get back into the schedule on Monday. I like having a list of things I have to do and go to.

Well I just wrote this whole thing as I am on my way to NYC. We are on the train and this is not easy to do on an iPhone lol

Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday: Randomness

Ah Wednesday...today is my random, talk about whatever I want post. Thing is, I don't know what I want to talk about. My brain has been turned to mush by the 5/6 hours of Chemistry homework I've done today. I took off my afternoon shift just so I could get it done.

The only interesting things I managed to do today was 1. pay 23 bucks to get Charlie's nails cut (such a rip off!) 2. turn in a bunch of scratch offs that I won $42 on (yay!) and 3. pick up my brother from school and bring him back home.

I feel like I need another 10 hours of sleep though, which I will not get since its 10 pm and I have to wake up for 6:20 am tomorrow. I'm just looking forward to the weekend. I get to officially celebrate Valentine's Day with my boyfriend :) I don't exactly know what that means...we might just go out for dinner but either way it makes me happy. Sadly though, my homework is no where near done. I have to do a small writing assignment on 10 pages worth of reading. I have to do discussion replies, and start prepping for an essay due in less than a week.

It makes me so tired and angry just thinking about it, especially since I just registered for four Summer classes today. 3 political science classes and one english class to finish off my literacy requirement. Yeesh, and I will have 4 more classes left come fall semester. That diploma should be mine no later than December.

I got the interview I've been wanting! I know that is random,  but school might play a part in whether I get this job. It's for a company called Public Allies, where I will get a job through them with a non-profit. It's really exciting so hopefully it'll all work out. They just say they'd rather the applicants not be in school, but this job won't start until September, and I will only have less than 3 months to go in school. Since, I'm online hopefully they'll make an exception!

I am going to go look up crafts for work, I'm probably running an art class for 4 Fridays in March, and I need to have projects to present to my boss! Have a good night :)

Hopeful new job

I just feel like I need to write about it, because I'm just excited. I just sent in my application to what could be one of the most life changing apprenticeships ever. It is through a group called Public Allies, and they set you up with different non-profit organizations to get a job. Then you work full time for ten months and on Fridays you meet with other members of your class at Public Allies for workshops, classes, and what not for development. I feel like this could be a real step for my career, which is terrifying that I'm even talking about it right now. I mean I've gotten to that point where I'm no longer looking for some regular job, I'm looking for positions in my field of choice. I'm looking for my career. Maybe it is so scary because I've barely even taken any political science classes yet...I start two in a couple of weeks. I start week 4 in my two classes today, Chemistry and History, so in exactly ten weeks I will be done with this semester and I will only have 8 classes left to take. Charlie is barking at me and I'm not sure why but he looked so cute I had to take a picture!

Facebook and moving forward

     Facebook has changed everything. I know that is a random statement to start with but hear me out. I know personally, that if it weren't for Facebook, I most likely would not have kept in touch with much of anybody from high school. There are a few people I know I would have spoken to here or there but the majority of the people I knew would be memories.

     So when Facebook is entered into the picture that all changes. Suddenly, I know things about people I never even knew went to my high school. I think the strange part for me is that we literally see people's lives moving forward and we are just innocent bystanders looking on. Sometimes it is like a car wreck that you can't stop watching, and other times it is just mundane and uninteresting.

     There is always some mixed feelings I think when we see people we know living their lives; especially when we are no longer involved. Our used to be best friends are suddenly some other person's best friend, our ex-boyfriends and girlfriends belong to someone else, and we see see enemies come together and allies break apart.

     Maybe part of the reason we all follow our Facebook "friends" so closely, is that we don't want to accept that our relationship with them is really over. For some, I'm sure it is just wanting to know everyone else's business. Or maybe it is just boredom.

     In many ways I think it is a good thing that we have Facebook, because not only can we watch the people we love move forward, but we can see how we move forward too. We will see engagements, babies, weddings, new jobs, and so much more. What we forget is that those things happen to us as well, and maybe that is what this whole social networking thing comes down to - sharing our momentum in life too.

A New Year

     So it is another year and I want to continue my blogging. I'm trying out different blog sites right now, so that's why there has been so much switching going on. Just bare with me, I think I'm actually going to like this one though. 

     I know I'm a little late to the party on this one, but I have been thinking about what I want to do for the new year, in terms of personal goals. I have a few that I can think of and I want to share them so I can feel like it is official and I will more likely hold myself to them. My first goal is to blog/write more. Whether it is private writing I do on paper, blogging here, or blogging on Awkward Politics (my other blog). I really love using words and just forming ideas and seeing where they take me; and I know I could be a lot more consistent with it. 

     Another goal, is just to simply stay on top of my school work. I'm so close to being done at this point and I just want to do the best that I can. I have 4 classes this semester and then possibly a class or two over the Summer, and finally the Fall semester. I think in total I only have 8 classes left for the Summer and Fall. 

     Next up, I want to eat better and get into yoga officially. There are a few roadblocks that may come up with this one, but I am determined. As far as eating goes, that is just pure willpower at this point. I need to make the effort to pick things I want to eat that are good for me. I especially want to try and get away from packaged foods, and stay more along the lines of fresh food. Now does that mean if I want pasta and sauce I can't do it? No. I'll buy a jar of sauce, I'm not going to kill myself making it from scratch, unless I want to try it who knows! I just know there are a lot of things I don't need to be eating. The yoga thing may just come down to money, I've always been better in a class than on my own. I like being in a studio with a teacher and other people. I feel awkward doing yoga in my bedroom alone, but if that is what it takes, I'll do it. I just need to get my shoulder in order first!

     Though physically, I have enough issues to deal with: fibromyalgia, my recent shoulder surgery, and the fact that I get sick all the time; I really want to focus on getting mentally healthy. I've dealt with depression and anxiety for a lot of years now, and I pretty much have that under control. I would love to be able to get off the meds though. Not only that, I want to be more positive. I've had more rough patches than some can imagine in my life, but I want to be able to feel more positive about my life and what I go through. I feel like it'll help so many aspects of who I am. I actually believe I've really done some good work in getting this way too. I've been dealing with a big demon from my childhood, and it has affected some of my relationships with people. But I'm getting through and every day it hurts a little less. 

     So that is it for now, they are four pretty big goals for the year so I better get started!