My Graduation

There won't be any photos to share, no cap and gown, and no diploma (at least not yet). Tuesday is my "graduation" or my last day of college. Going to an school online meant I had the option of signing up for commencement and then going all the way to Arizona for graduation. 

I didn't want to spend that time with people I didn't know though. Even though today's activities weren't even a party, it is sort of just how I wanted to spend my "graduation". My mom decided that today since my brother would be around we would have our own little celebration. 

It was funny though, right in the middle of a timed exam my mom called me to come out into the living room. Kinda perfect though, since it was an ode to my school work. She played the commencement song as I walked into the living room and they stood and clapped.

It was honestly the cutest thing ever, and it was special to me. 

Then I got my graduation present :) I am now the proud owner of the Nexus 10 tablet by Google. I have been playing with it most of today. It is pretty awesome.

So yeah, I've pretty much come down with a cold so I've been blowing my nose all day but my graduation was pretty great. I got to watch a movie and play video games with my brother. I finished everything for one of my classes. Plus, I got a really yummy cake :)

There is only 40 multiple choice questions and a third of an essay to be written separating me from collegiate freedom!

Thanksgiving Eve

So a friend of mine reminded me that Thanksgiving Eve is the biggest bar night of the year. Did you participate?

I did! In fact I just got home, but I had an amazing time. I am actually smiling right now because I had such a good time.

Don't you just love those kinds of nights?

My best friend and I went to a local bar and we had the best time, it's times like these that I'm so lucky to still have her in my life after 10 years or so.

So what are your Thanksgiving plans?

I'm going to my Aunt's house and as classic Italians do...dinner is at 3 :)

I hope you have an amazing holiday!

Friday Thoughts

My week has been pretty up and down and that is not always a great feeling. I'd much rather have a week full of consistency, but alas, things do happen.

I have come to find that one of my better thinking spots is my car. Today while I was driving the title of my blog popped into my head. I thought about what it meant to me, why I chose it, and how others could be influenced by it. Some Blissful Chaos. Most would probably say it contradicts itself. I however, think differently.

In our lives, we need to have chaos. It is a natural part of going through our days, months, and years. Chaos will occur at the most inopportune times, but we should be more welcoming to it. Without chaos, we can't know bliss. We can't know serenity and the happiness that comes with it. Bliss means many different things to people. Some people find bliss in the activities they do, some feel it associated with emotions, and it is important to figure out what bring you bliss.

I usually associate it with love and safety. Love is very encompassing it makes me feel safe, happy, warm, and appreciated. Love comes from many places: family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, and even our pets. I know that my little Charlie bear always brings me that feeling, in the tiniest of ways!

So we should really start to embrace the chaos, and not become so wound up about it. Of course there will always be days when it gets to much. Just don't let it stop you from trying to experience the good and happiness in your days. Don't let it stop you from reaching a goal, finishing a project, or even telling someone that you love them. Remember, without chaos we wouldn't know bliss.

Happiness: Where has it gone?

     I just started reading a book called "The Happiness Project", by Gretchen Rubin. I have to say I really like what I've read so far. Here is the synopsis on the back cover, since I think it gives a better description than I can:

"Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. 'The days are long, but the years are short', she realized. 'Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter.'In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project. 


In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference."

     So as I sit here eating a bowl of Cheerios, no milk, I can't help but wonder about my own happiness. If I look at my life as a whole, I'd probably say I was content. Looking at different aspects of my life though, I would say differently.

     My family, my boyfriend, and my dog? I'm extremely happy, I couldn't start to think about my life without them. Work, school, how I feel most days? Not so great. I do like my job, but it is part-time and it isn't what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. The job search is more difficult than ever right now, and for a student almost ready to graduate with very little experience...well you get the picture.  School? I'm at a crossroads right now about whether or not to get my graduate, and I am not even sure what I'd go for yet. Plus, I technically should have been graduating this May but alas it won't happen until December.

     As far as how I feel? Honestly, I feel like crap. I've been physically drained and emotionally drained. I am always tired because I'm constantly running from thing to thing. I'm always in pain because of my Fibromyalgia plus my shoulder hasn't been getting better as fast as I'd hoped. I don't complain to much about it, maybe a comment here or there, but I know that complaining does nothing good for me.

     So maybe Gretchen Rubin is on to something. Maybe we should all take the time to examine our happiness and make a plan to fix what we are unhappy with. As I am starting to learn from her book, most problems come from within. We can't change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and that may be a project I have to take on.

Surprise! I'm baaack...

Well, well, well, we meet again old friend. Okay so yes, I've taken a long break from this but I'm back and ready to roll. There have been a bunch of things happening so I will do a recap.

First of all, I'd like to mention that I'm dying for the umpteenth time this year. I tried a new foundation on Monday and I instantly broke out in hives and redness. It is Wednesday night and I'm still broken out and itchy as itchy could be. I honestly would rather be in pain right now, than itchy, the problem is that it is everywhere. Ears, face, neck, legs, back, eyes and yeah you get the picture.

Other than dying a slow and itchy death, I've been hard at work trying to get this semester done and over with. There is 10 more days and I will have a month off before Summer classes...boo. However, that means I only have 8 classes left in my degree!

In other school related news, I found my ultimate dream masters program. It also happens to be at my dream school: NYU. The program is a joint MA in International Politics and Journalism...um can you say AMAZING?!? I would absolutely die if I could get into that program. However, I'm still a ways away from that :(

I had my 2nd interview on the 3rd with Public Allies! It went really well, I was happy with it even if it was a 3 hour group interview. Major downside? I have to wait until the end of May to hear anything...

Work is work and now that it is nicer out it seems as though it is getting a little more crazy. I think end of the school year fever is starting to affect the children. But there really is no blaming them, we all are starting to feel that way.

Things haven't been going amazing lately, we've been getting some not so good news on the health front as far as my family goes. My dad is having major issues with his back, and my mom needs surgery again eventually. My shoulder is still not where it should be either which is pretty disappointing. My family goes through hell, but we manage to keep together either way, and I'm thankful for that.

I have had a lot on my mind lately, and I feel like I need to come back and write again. Even if it has nothing to do with what is going on, writing is therapeutic. It helps me forget things and it helps me focus too. Sometimes, all you want to do is talk to that one person but it is just a whole lot easier to talk to a blank page or screen. It isn't as intimidating, at least for me. It is a fresh start in a world where that rarely ever happens...

Tuesday: Happy Valentine's Day

 

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I know this is going up after midnight but oh well, I just got home. Since today was crazy busy and I spent the night with my boyfriend, I'm excusing myself from the regular Tuesday post. I will post tomorrow's regular post and a catch up post for Tuesday later on today (Wednesday). So I hope you all had a good Valentine's day! ^ Those are the flowers Shaun gave me tonight :) 

Today I saw a lot of mixed feelings about Valentine's day. At work, the kids were incredibly excited and revved up. On Facebook, half the people were happy and the other half cursed the holiday. I personally, enjoy this holiday. Sure it sucks if you don't have a significant other, but you know what? That isn't what it is all about. You get to stop and think about all the different love in your life. I get to reflect on the love I have from my brother and my parents. Honestly, I have the best and most supportive parents in the world, and I get to really remember how much they love me today. 

I get to think about my friends, even though most of them are out of state at the moment, I know that if I need them they are there for me. I get to see little kids at work get excited because they got a bunch of Valentines, and maybe that one special little boy or girl gave them candy and that made the entire day better. I honestly wish people would celebrate the love they have in their lives like this everyday. Today is not the only day someone can make a grand gesture. Go buy your mom or girlfriend flowers just for the hell of it. I promise you, you will see a smile so big it'll make your own heart grow a little. (Yes, I know how corny that sounds...give me a break) Why wait til Valentine's day to buy a little gift for someone, or take them out on a nice date? 

We are all so preoccupied by life, stress, and whatever else that sometimes we forget to show appreciation for the little things we have. I know I can do that myself. I've had some rough months with the surgery and being sick, but I had parents who did everything in their power to make sure I was okay, a boyfriend who would come see me and hold me even with a big stupid brace on, and a puppy who would make me smile. Not everyone is so lucky, and those who are should always take the time to remember that. 

Happy Valentine's Day everyone, I love you all :) 

Facebook and moving forward

     Facebook has changed everything. I know that is a random statement to start with but hear me out. I know personally, that if it weren't for Facebook, I most likely would not have kept in touch with much of anybody from high school. There are a few people I know I would have spoken to here or there but the majority of the people I knew would be memories.

     So when Facebook is entered into the picture that all changes. Suddenly, I know things about people I never even knew went to my high school. I think the strange part for me is that we literally see people's lives moving forward and we are just innocent bystanders looking on. Sometimes it is like a car wreck that you can't stop watching, and other times it is just mundane and uninteresting.

     There is always some mixed feelings I think when we see people we know living their lives; especially when we are no longer involved. Our used to be best friends are suddenly some other person's best friend, our ex-boyfriends and girlfriends belong to someone else, and we see see enemies come together and allies break apart.

     Maybe part of the reason we all follow our Facebook "friends" so closely, is that we don't want to accept that our relationship with them is really over. For some, I'm sure it is just wanting to know everyone else's business. Or maybe it is just boredom.

     In many ways I think it is a good thing that we have Facebook, because not only can we watch the people we love move forward, but we can see how we move forward too. We will see engagements, babies, weddings, new jobs, and so much more. What we forget is that those things happen to us as well, and maybe that is what this whole social networking thing comes down to - sharing our momentum in life too.